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March for Dimes :)

Hello All!!
I am going to be walking for March of Dimes in May for preemie babies! If you are able to help please click this link!! Come walk if you can!! My team is Walking4Love :)


http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?pp=3646731&ct=4&w=4649202&u=brleafty

Why is it...

Why do people choose to be so negative about stuff? I am not talking about anyone specific, so don't feel like I am talking about any one person. I mean generally, why are we taught not to take risks? Why do we, as society, think that we can't take leaps of faith on things that may or may not work out? Why is it so bad to fall? Isn't that how we learn? I am talking about myself as well, why do I worry so much? What is the worse thing that could happen? For example, what if I were to trust in a company and wanted to leap head first into it. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?
"Be careful" right? Or
"Are you sure?" or
"Have you thought this all the way through?" OR
"This sounds a little too good to be true".
Why are those our first thoughts? Why not...
"Oh wow, that sounds like fun!" or
"I am so happy for you!!" or
"How can I get involved?/Sign me up!!"
So if I were to invest $500 into this said company, what is the worst thing that would happen? I loose $500? Am I never going to get that back?
Now this is just a make believe situation so don't worry... haha.
This is just something that is on my mind.
Another thing on my mind is why do we have work work to make money, instead of finding something you are passionate about and figuring out how to make money at it? Why do we have to choose money over happiness? Why can't we have both? Why doesn't it work out that way? This was a huge question when Anthony got married. He didn't like sitting at a desk but figured that was going to be the rest of his life. Luckily, I asked him "why?". It took a very long time before he found out what he was really passionate about. But, he did! Why can't everyone do this?

I just want everyone to have faith in the unknown, and reach for their dreams!! The worst that can happen is loosing material things? Am I just super naive?

Hoover Dam, Grand Canyon and Vegas...

Our trip was so much fun! We did everything we wanted to! I couldn't believe all that we were able to do. Here are a few pictures of what we saw while there!

Day Twenty Five, Twenty Six and Twenty Seven...

Day Twenty Five the reason I believe I am still alive today...

There are many possible answers to this question, but to be quite honest I have no idea. I have often thought about this, what is the reason I am still here? I have had my share of near death experiences, two that I can really recall

When I was newly married I worked for The Senior Center within the Everygreen Hospital organization, I worked as a Receptionist slash medical records clerk. I loved my job very much! I also loved all my coworkers and one day I was out to lunch with one of them. Misty and I were in Kirkland near Fred Myer where there are train tracks, and we were stopped at a red light

::Pause:: you know how there are always signs that say don't stop on the tracks? Does anyone really do that??

Ok, we were stopped on the train tracks when all of a sudden we see the red and white striped bar lookin' things come down and red lights start to flash. We looked around us to see if we could move (We were in a Buick AKA longest car ever) anyways we hear the train's horn and we start screaming. Misty starts to back up the car to get out of the way as much as possible... the next thing we know the train is passing in front of us LESS THEN A FOOT AWAY!! I have no idea how we fit this HUGE car between the striped bar and the train but we did... I almost died!!

The next time I almost died was 4 years ago when I was pregnant with Makenzie. We lived at the Acsent apts. and it had snowed... the only way to leave the apts was the go down a VERY steep paved hill. Anthony had taught me how to drive in the snow so I thought I could handle it. I was in 1st gear and started to creep down the hill. There was ice and I lost control of the car and I started sliding down the hill and I started to panic... and as the tears started to flow out of my face the car stops. Someone had salted to sidewalk and it was completely dry. When I had stopped I was looking at my feet at the brake peddle wondering what happened and just then when I looked up a massive SEMI TRUCK passed by... WOW right?

So when I think about this question I have to think there is a devine reason I am still here. For what you might ask? I am not sure... To be a mother? To be a wife? I don't know but I will do my best at whatever it is that I am supposed to be doing!!

Day Twenty Six Have I ever thought about giving up on life? If so, why?

Umm this is a super personal question and I don't want to go into too much detail, but yes I have. I was about 14 and that was the first time I had realized how much I needed Faith in something bigger then me. When I didn't succeed I realized that the answer to my problems wasn't death but life...

Day Twenty Seven What is the best thing going for me right now?

MY KIDS!!!! I will always say my kids to this question! They are my everything and I am so glad that I get the honor of being their mom... :) :)

Day Twenty Two, Twenty Three & Twenty Four

Man, it has been a LONG time! I have been so crazy busy that I have put this blog on the back burner! It's been so busy that I even have had to put my camera on the shelf for a while... But no worries things are slowing down for the moment and I am able to blog...

Day Twenty Two Something I wish I hadn't done in my life...

I wish I hadn't taken FREE education for granted! I wish I would have payed more attention in school and learned more. But to make up for that I plan on homeschooling, and while I am teaching my kids maybe I will learn a thing or two! :)

Day Twenty Three Something I wish I had done in my life...

hmm this one is hard... I have done a LOT in my life it is hard to think of something I would've done on top of everything.

I think I have got it... I wish I would have learned better eating habbits as a kid. If only I didn't eat such junk food maybe it would be easier now to stop... Interesting, when I started this challenge I don't know if I would have put that as my answer and that was a month ago? I have learned so much since then about food by watching a couple documentries called Food Inc. and Food Matters... if you havent seen eaither of them you might want to! The only problem is this new change is expensive... so it will have to be a slow transformation.

Day Twenty Four Make a playlist for someone and write the reason for each song...

My playlist is for my KIDS! So they can know a little about me through music!

#1 Moulin Rouge Track 11 - Come what May

Because, this is the song that I fell in love with Anthony. It was a late night and Anthony offered to give me a ride home around 11pm at night, we got to my house around 11:15pm and we sat in the car listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, we were trying to say goodbye but we kept finding things to talk about, "Come what may" was my favorite song so we must have listened to it a million times. I would sing Nicole Kidmans part and he would sing Ewan McGregor's. I even taught him how to interpretive dance to this song! We talked until about 2am. and I have seen him EVERYDAY since!! 6 1/2 years later! :)

#2 Celine Dion - The Power of Love

I have talked about this song before so it is no shock that I would put it on my playlist. This song got my through so hard times and I will never forget it's healing power! This song is what love SHOULD look like! It's what I feel for Anthony and I can only hope this with what my kids feel as they enter the Temple doors and get sealed to their one and only!

#3 Celine Dion - A Mother's Prayer

I love this song! When I was pregnant with Makenzie I bought this CD (Miracle) I wanted to sing this prayer to Mak every chance I could! And now to all my kids!! The second best song from this CD is called "Come to me"

#4 Lonestar - I want to be the one

Anthony sang this song to me a LOOONG time ago. It was when we were dating the first time... We dated the month of July 2004, during that time Anthony sang this song to me and it FREAKED ME OUT!! One because I thought it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. Two because if I stayed with him I would marry him and I was NOT ready yet! When I was ready to be the one I let him know...which was April 12th 2005, also the night of our first kiss!

#5 Billy Currington - Must be doin' somethin' right

Anthony and I danced our first dance to this song... so no brainer, it had to be on here!

#6 Dixie Chicks - Lullaby

This song saved my life when Makenzie was a baby! All we would have to do is turn it on and she would stop crying like magic!! No joke, it was that easy! We also played it at night for her... I believe it was the trick to keep her asleep through the night. I need to start playing it for the TWINS!!!

#7 Partridge Family - I think I love you

This song brings back fun memories of my family and I cramming into my dads bronco. All 7 of us kids would pile in and say "Let's sing our song" We called it our family song... those were the good ol' days, as far as our family is concerned... more and more its starting to feel like we are strangers living seperate lives, sad really! When I started my own family I gained a new love for this song because the instant I had them I fell in love, there's nothing like it and nothing that can prepare you for it!

#8 Bet Midler - The Rose

My mom and I LOVE to sing this song together! We started singing it when I was a teenager. She would take us girls to Chang's to sing Kareoke and us girls (except her) would have to sit outside the bar for obvious reasons.. but the Kareoke was inside the bar so the DJ (his name is Zoon) would hand us the mics and we would sing! We still go and still sing this song! I hope my kids and I will have song like this one that we can sing together :)

#9 Bruno Mars - Just the way you are

Growing up I was never confident about the way I looked. When I was 14 my dad asked me if I needed to loose some weight... so you can imagine the body image issues surrouunding me. It has been that way my whole life. Skinny is the only way to be... Until I met Anthony! When I met him it was the first time I felt confident, he makes me feel beautiful no matter the size of my pants. I want my kids growing up knowing that it isnt the size of your body that determines whether you're happy or not. No one should ever let you think otherwise!

You are beautiful JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!

#10 LDS Hymns - I Need The Every hour

this song played at my baptism and is very important to me... I do need Him every hour and I will for the rest of my life. I want my kids to know that He can be with them as well, and how life is MUCH easier with Him by your side! :)

#11 Josh Groban - You are loved

I love my children very much and I want this song to be a reminder of that! Everything that I want to say is in this song... I just love it.

#12 Mindy Gledhill - Emma

I hope my girls can find a hero in Emma Smith like I have. Her strength and faith is amazing. I can only pray that I can be as strong as her through my trials and be as graceful as her...

My playlist is kinda ALL OVER the place but it's real and I love it!

Days Twenty and Twenty One

Day Twenty What are my views on drugs and alcohol?

Well, let see... because I know about this subject first hand I am not very black and white about it. Obviously, drinking is wrong, as well as drugs but I feel like there is way more then just that. Before I was a member I dabbled a little in each subject. More the alcohol then the other, but I knew why I did it. I drank because I was in a lot of pain. I thought that when I was in a drunken stupor I couldn't be hurt, or that I couldn't feel it so it wasn't there. I am not proud of my life before the gospel, but I also wouldn't be who I am without falling and learning now to reach out for help. I believe I had to go through what I did so my kids don't have to. In my experience people intoxicate themselves to get away from their situation, they want to loose control for a while. For me, I wanted to fill a void. I wanted to forget that my dad thought I was fat and couldn't do anything right. I wanted to forget that he picked his wife over me. As a parent I feel it is super important to not freak out and go on a rampage. If I were to find out my child had been drinking, I hope that I would feel awful for my child because they weren't strong enough to say no. Then I would ask myself why they thought they had to drink. And after I had calmed down I would go to the child/teenager and have a heart to heart. What are they lacking? What can I do to help? Is it something that I am doing that I can change? How do I need to change our family dynamic to help them? Locking a child up by grounding or whatever is not the way (at least for me) to handle things. I feel it would have pushed me even farther off the edge and possibly pushed me to do things a little stronger... Drugs and alcohol are a key to let you know there is something wrong, how can we as parents fix it? I know for me it was the love of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They can fill any void, they filled mine.

I am an open book and I have no problem talking about the things I have had to go through because I am on the straight and narrow now, maybe my life's experiances help someone view things differently. My story proves the glory of the Gospel and how it can change a life, if of course they are willing to make a change :)

Day Twenty One My best friend is in an accident and an hour before the accident we got into a fight. What would I do?

I would go to the hospital where she was and make sure that her family has been called. I wouldn't be able to leave until she woke up and I could say that I was sorry we fought. I would do anything and everything she needed but not because we were in a fight, but because she is my best friend. If we were true best friends a little fight wouldn't get between us.

I don't know if in this senerio she dies but if she did then I would know the Plan of Salvation and know she would be taken care of... I would pray that she know how sorry I was, and that I will cherrish our friendship forever. At least this is how I hope I would act... I hope I never have to find out.

Days Seventeen, Eighteen, and Nineteen

So, these are the tough questions... Hope I don't offend anyone.

Day Seventeen A book I have read that changed my views on something...

Well, this one is super easy :) The BOOK OF MORMON

Before I read the Book of Mormon I was searching for truth. I went to a bunch of different churches and nothing seemed to stick. Nothing felt right. When I was 17 I met two boys that brought me along to their church activities, and I have to admit the only reason I went was because I wanted to spend more time with these older boys. ( I guess the saying Flirt to Convert rings true in my case) they took me to institute where we learned about the Book of Mormon, that night they gave me one and asked me if I would read it. I said yes, knowing I probably wouldn't. As I thought, it stood on my dresser unread for a while. The boys asked me all the time if I had started it, and all the time I said "of course". haha But then one night I thought to myself "what the heck it couldn't hurt right?" So I started. Lehi was so brave to take his family away from the only place they called home to live in the wilderness. And Nephi? So willing to do what his father had asked without question? I was nothing like Nephi. I was a LOT like Laman and Lamual. I questioned everything my parents said and/or did. But that love Nephi had for his father and God was over whelming and struck me to the core. I wanted to be like them. I wanted a Father to love me no matter what, I wanted a Father I could trust and follow with no questions asked. As I got through this amazing book I saw all the love the people had for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and I felt love for Them as well.

Through the Book of Mormon I found LOVE for my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. Six months later I was baptized... December 4Th 2004 :)

Day Eighteen My views on gay marriage...

A lot of people do things ( Drink, Smoke, etc.) that I don't agree with but I still love them all the same. I guess that is true in this case. I don't agree with gay marriage but, all the same, it is not my place to judge them. One of the commandments I follow is love thy neighbor so that's what I do. I believe how people choose to love is their choice and Heavenly Father handles the rest.

that's all I have to say about that subject.

Day Nineteen What do I think of religion or politics...

Well, me and politics don't get along, so all I know is... Those in office are there because that's where the majority of people put them and if you don't like it, vote differently next time.

I am a little naive can you tell?

Days Fourteen, Fifteen, and Sixteen (30 days of truth)

Day Fourteen A hero that let me down...

At different points in my life there have been influential people that got me through some tough times...I could go on and on about them but that is not the question.

I think a hero that let me down is the idea of a hero. When growing up I searched for someone who was going to save the day. Spare me from life with divorced parents that didn't speak. But no one came to my rescue in a cape and mask. I realized as a kid that if anyone was going to be my hero it was going to be me. As a kid I had a really hard time asking for help. I put up a force field of confidence and high spirits when there were times when I felt like things would never get better. At the age of 14 I started letting those walls down for one person. My Aunt Mary Ann. She is the only one who took time to look through the walls and see the real me... broken and in complete misery. She is my hero. She has NEVER let me down. And something kind of interesting... she collect Wonder Woman stuff... She is my Wonder Woman. To this day she can still lift me up when I am flat on the ground and I am so grateful for that! She keeps me sane :)

Day Fifteen Someone of something I couldn't live without because you have tried...

I could not live without the Sacrament. When I was a new member of the church I slipped and was asked not to take the Sacrament. It was the hardest time in my life to this day. I was so incredibly weak without it. To this day I do my absolute best to NEVER be without it again. I need it like breath to keep me strong, strong enough to carry any burdens I am faced with. I am so grateful to my church, I wouldn't be the person I am not without it! I love it :)

Day Sixteen Someone or something I can live without...

I can live without CANDY... it is a out of sight out of mind kind of thing. If I can't see it, I don't need it hahaha.

Days Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen

Day Eleven Something about you that people compliment the most on...

I get a lot of compliments on my accomplishments. In my 23 almost 24 years of life, I have learned a lot. I have married the man of my dreams and I have given birth to three kids. I would say that's a LOT! That's what people compliment me on.

Day Twelve Something I never get compliments on...

Umm... I don't get compliments on... hmm. I wouldn't say there is anything that I do that I don't get compliments on. Man that makes me sound so arrogant. But, I don't think I am I just think I have great friends and family.

man the more and more I answer these questions the more I see how wonderful my life is. I really have it good!

Day Thirteen A band or artist that has gotten me through some tough days...

Before my dad and Lisa got together, so when I was about 10 or 11, my dad never came out of his room when it was his weekend to have us. So, I used to lay down next to my boom box, with my head up next to it, I would play Celine Dion, the power of love. I would play that one song over and over and over and over until I knew the words perfectly. I would listen to her for hours, not only that one song but all of them from that CD. Still to this day Celine Dion can lift my spirits. It's kinda funny that a 10 year old chose to listen to Celine Dion but ever since Titanic, she has been my favorite. I would do anything to see her in concert!!